The paradox of choice

Let me start with the definition first: a paradox is something that looks like it doesn’t make sense or even seems impossible, but when you think about it more, it actually has truth in it.

Now let’s go to a short story.

Recently, I had to buy a new phone. I had saved enough money to get almost any model I wanted, which meant I had a lot of options. After some thought, I decided to buy the best phone my budget could cover. It was fantastic: sleek, powerful, filled with features. By all accounts, I should have been happy.

But almost immediately, I started thinking: what if I had bought the other one? What if that phone had features I would’ve enjoyed more? What if it felt better in my hand, or looked cooler? Even though I had chosen a great phone, I couldn’t stop wondering about the ones I didn’t pick.

That’s when it hit me. This is the paradox of choice. We think that having more options will make us happier, but it often does the opposite. It makes us second-guess ourselves and feel restless.

Every day, we face choices. Some are small, like what to wear or what to eat. Others are big, like what career to pursue or who to be in a relationship with. And while having choices feels like freedom, it can also feel like a burden. The more options we have, the harder it is to feel satisfied with the one we finally pick.

This has been a big struggle in my own life because I’ve always been a multipotentialite. That means I’ve had many interests and skills across different fields. I’ve always been curious about everything, and whenever I put effort into something, I usually do well at it. On the surface, that sounds like a blessing. But in reality, it’s made life harder. Because if I can do many things, which one should I stick to? Every time I commit to something, I catch myself thinking, “But what if I had gone after that other thing?”

It’s the same with careers. In the past, people usually had only a few realistic options. They chose one, worked at it, and stuck with it. Today, the possibilities are endless. You can be a freelancer, a coder, a business owner, a YouTuber, a designer, a digital nomad, and so much more. That freedom is exciting, but for people like me who are interested in everything, it can also feel overwhelming. Choosing one path almost feels like giving up the others.

The same thing happens in relationships. Social media and some romance movies have taught us that having a lot of options are the key to finding the perfect partner. And instead of making it easier, it makes it harder. Even if you meet someone good, you might still wonder if there’s someone better one swipe away. Too many choices can keep us from truly committing.

So what’s the way forward? I don’t think the solution is to get rid of choices. Instead, I think it’s about being content with the ones we do make. Once you choose, stick with it. Don’t spend all your time looking back or wondering “what if.” Trust that the choice you made can still lead somewhere meaningful.

Someone once said that whatever choice you make is good, because it will teach you something and help you grow. I believe that. Even the choices that don’t go the way you expected can make you stronger and more aware of who you are.

The paradox of choice shows us that happiness doesn’t come from having every possible option. It comes from focusing on the few choices we do make, and giving them our full effort. For me, as someone who’s always tempted by the roads not taken, this isn’t easy. But it’s the only way forward. Because at the end of the day, the choice that matters most is not the one we could have made, but the one we decide to commit to.